Jacob Lawrence, Struggle...From the History of the American People No. 8. ---again the rebels rushed furiously on our men. --a Hessian soldier (1947)

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September 08, 2002:

So Life, my friend: is the irony really necessary under all circumstances? There's that sortof dialectic of tease: dance near, dance away. With a transparently simple lesson, this time: nothing comes without struggle.

His thinking is shallow and eclectic, lacking a consistent protocol. But he's nice as can be, and, maybe for the first time in my life, I'm simply disagreeing without feeling the need to chop his head off and pass it around the room showing everyone how empty it is.

Because there was never any "contact" with her. There was only ever her lovely skin. You thought she understood you. She never understood you. She admired you at first and you became so inflated over that admiration that you spent those years in a relationship of co-dependence and mutual destruction. It's true that you tried very hard in 1988. But so what. She never acknowledged that effort.

Yet it must seem insane to her, to have you of all people show up with so much emotion after twelve years. Have to laugh to think about it.

It's ok, I'm ok, things are fine.

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