Jacob Lawrence, Struggle...From the History of the American People No. 27. ...for freedom we want and will have, for we have served this cruel land long enuff... --a Georgia slave, 1810 (1956)

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September 20, 2002:

Isn't she a closet dom?

When we first met one of the things I most admired her for was her great love of children and animals. She said that to her they were "innocent," that is, uncomplicit in the world's meanness. I thought I understood that.

Lately it's not so clear. Isn't power the one true reality for her?

As a child people called her "bossy." As an adult we call it domineering. Wasn't the innocence she loved really nothing but helplessness in relation to herself?

Fall. Exhausted-looking woman slumps on a bed. Moonlight through open windows paints her silver.

"She never said why." Silver tears on a wet silver face.

Her beloved childhood friend has walked out of her life. No explanation. It was like a verdict from a secret court. She's had no chance to understand the charges, explain her motives, change the judge's mind.

By morning she's laughing again. But her anguish runs after her like a loyal dog.

Isn't this the root of her chronic failure in relationships with adults?

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