In fairness, there's more, and it's that accumulated more which fuels anger. Especially, the sense that you were held back, sometimes profoundly, by these oddnesses.
People grow up believing naturally that their own conditions of home life are "normal". This is what life is. These are what people are. So that the realization later in adulthood comes with real shock, that those people are bizarre, perhaps you should more accurately say, damaged. And that their damage was inevitably made part of yours. Or that was the goal.
This is the context in which minor examples of incompetency become potentially explosive. They carry the weight of accumulated more. Regardless of how unfair it is in any particular instance.
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