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February 1, 2006:

He misses her most when he's discouraged.

It makes a certain sense. In the early days, she was supportive. It was one of the reasons he loved her so much: encouragement had never been his experience before then.

In the end it makes no sense at all. She changed. Around the time of their disastrous cohabitation, from which they never really recovered. From then on she was destructive, unwilling to see him succeed even in some small thing without fighting, really fighting, to bring him back down to size.

Perhaps his long loyalty to that failure based itself on that early sense of supportiveness. You can only imagine what it must have meant to him.

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© 2002-2012 Mark Phillips. All rights reserved.
This writing is fiction. Please don't confuse it with reality.