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After my failure I wrote:

"Things would be different if I were king. Real love would grow on love bushes outside every home, and all the bad people would be forced to wear signs reading 'Be patient with me, I need understanding.' And there'd be no boy bands with 'N' in their names. These are simple rules but they seem wise and mature to yours truly. Also everybody who successfully reaches age 43 is allowed to immediately run off and join the circus."

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This writing is fiction. Please don't confuse it with reality.
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