September 27, 2005:

Sits by herself on a tuft of grass, back to the bus, face to the sea, orange sun hat, sad, feeding crackers to a flock of squabbling ducks.

What's on her mind just then?

I dislike myself. I'm angry because that German girl is younger and prettier than me. I'm fat. I've gotten fat. He's attracted to her. I hate my job. I wish I could stay here always. She likes him. There's something about him. He wishes I weren't here, so he could have her. I'm angry at him and at myself.

Her loneliness, her disconsolation, her sense of defeat.