May 6, 2019:

And I really am ok with that.

I do, now in my maturity, recognize that things change. People and circumstances evolve, sure. I get that you can't hold them back. I hate it but I've given up imagining I can order the wind to not blow.

So that the meaning of life is: make new friends. There's a certain optimism in that. The wise shaman said, "You are the stream through which all things flow." People leave, new people arrive. There's joy there.

It's a relatively new problematic. Where actually this is one context when "paradigm shift" would be the appropriate concept, granted the change is entirely subjective. I've always always always clung to the relationships that were important to me, so that I've been deeply damaged by endings for which I was unprepared. Perhaps now I'm more willing to let go.