June 18, 2024:
"How do you want your hamburger prepared?", asks the waiter.
How do I want what? I don't know what that is.
The table mates, friends of the friend who brought me, explain. You can choose medium, medium well, medium rare, rare, or well.
We don't have that at home.
We have Jack in the Box, and it's all the same.
Or we have barbecue, on a small Hibachi on the patio, and anyway I usually have hotdogs.
It's the only hamburgers I've ever seen, and they come without options.
June 17, 2024:
"String cheese?", offers a classmate.
What cheese? I don't know what that is.
He has to demonstrate, tearing strips, illustrating what "string" means.
We don't have string cheese at home.
We have American cheese, in individually wrapped slices.
We don't eat it by itself, we put it between Wonder Bread and mayonnaise to make sandwiches.
It's the only cheese I've ever seen.
June 16, 2024:
She's a reader. Our apartment is filled with books.
She has three bookcases in dark wood, ten shelves altogether. They hold her college textbooks; some volumes of Jung; all of the Signet Shakespeare paperbacks; James Bond and Sherlock Holmes; Heinlein, Asimov, Bradbury, Tolkien. She reads ubiquitously. It's only later that I learn why.
In La Mesa I have two small shelves finished in natural shellac. We finished them ourselves. I have Hardy Boys; the Companion Library; some picture books of airplanes. It's only later, in Clairemont, that I encounter history and military theory, and then we add floor-to-ceiling metal shelves from Sears.
This is the core contribution she makes to my development. I read because she does and because we have books in the apartment.
- June 15, 2024: Johnny Athlete, towel over dreds...
- June 14, 2024: La Mesa eucalyptus.
- June 13, 2024: Backpack and underbite, chewing his teeth.
- June 12, 2024: It not about liar and victim.
- June 11, 2024: The symmetry is the trap.
- June 10, 2024: To say she was a liar is to understate the issue.
- June 9, 2024: Dojo in the afterlife.
- June 8, 2024: Mark: The image is also entirely forced.
- June 7, 2024: I will simply add...
- June 6, 2024: Buffy 3:1.
- June 5, 2024: Wounded Warrior Sidewalk Club:
- June 4, 2024: Tiny thing in lavender onesie has her own soccer coach.
- June 3, 2024: Wounded warrior wheelchair in the shade.
- June 2, 2024: Theological weather.
- June 1, 2024: Jogger on the riverbank.
- May 31, 2024: Soccer balls in the riverbed.
- May 30, 2024: Bodies buried at sea.
- May 29, 2024: She loved walnuts.
- May 28, 2024: That cringeworthy phrase — "muscular adonis" — has echoed inside my skull for 45 years.
- May 27, 2024: "muscular adonis", began the featured poem in the University's annual literary revue.
- May 26, 2024: Where the locket — her child at six — becomes the technology of infantilization.
- May 25, 2024: "Infantilized", there's the word.
- May 24, 2024: I want to live in Giles' library.
- May 23, 2024: First register:
- May 22, 2024: Although Buffy's tonal in-betweenness is celebrated as "genre-blending"...
- May 21, 2024: Face of the menacing other.
- May 20, 2024: Brian Thompson: vampire, Klingon, shapeshifting alien bounty hunter.
- May 19, 2024: Mom, age 30: "I don't understand how they can do that!"
- May 18, 2024: That blue lives in a specific place.
- May 17, 2024: F3 and tripod at dusk.
- May 16, 2024: She's like The Ideas Guy I know from the socialist left:
- May 15, 2024: Because Monopoly is almost entirely about first builder advantage...
- May 14, 2024: Rock and Roll is...
- May 13, 2024: Friendly Alma, Texas death-row guard.
- May 12, 2024: Teenies on their phones.
- May 11, 2024: "God those phone calls..."
- May 10, 2024: Snakeskin boots on a polished table.
- May 9, 2024: "We don't have to deliver our results in writing. It's enough to talk about them."
- May 8, 2024: "I've been doing this forty years, and I have you on tape."
- May 7, 2024: Panting happily, sweat dripping, warmth from the bones flowing.
- May 6, 2024: Babies chasing sparrows.
- May 5, 2024: Soccer dude, the goalkeeper...
- May 4, 2024: Angry.
- May 3, 2024: It's uphill.
- May 2, 2024: This could be the day he goes outside.
- May 1, 2024: I know there's an answer
- April 30, 2024: sometimes I feel very sad
- April 29, 2024: Let the day in.
- April 28, 2024: The arrogance of incomplete discovery.
- April 27, 2024: They're hard to work with.
- April 26, 2024: "The old... now no longer present."
- April 25, 2024: It's found language, or near-found:
- April 24, 2024: Jagger Sings!
- April 23, 2024: We saw Ladies and Gentlemen in the old University Theater, no longer present...
- April 22, 2024: That band was ragged, even when they were blowing off the roof.
- April 21, 2024: Greenfield postures at a cynicism he hasn't earned.
- April 20, 2024: Triangulate, reader.
- April 19, 2024: Infrastructure as initiation.
- April 18, 2024: Bootlegs at The Black.
- April 17, 2024: Now my pier is gone.
- April 16, 2024: Althusser on the pier.
- April 15, 2024: Bootlegs at The Black.
- April 14, 2024: When did she stop laughing?
- April 13, 2024: Market Street.
- April 12, 2024: Insightful strategy, undercut by routine.
- April 11, 2024: Hospitals.
- April 10, 2024: Doctor Arrogance, MD.
- April 9, 2024: Mark: Before you go, do you have time for a question?
- April 8, 2024: Whole Foods, NPR, Davos-light.
- April 7, 2024: Marin County mantra of the 1990s.
- April 6, 2024: Hip length white hair, very straight, slumped in her waiting room chair.
- April 5, 2024: Would I go there again?
- April 4, 2024: Her box of cast-aside objects.
- April 3, 2024: "I sincerely believed you had no sense of rhythm."
- April 2, 2024: Would she have liked this music?
- April 1, 2024: BoHo hipsters.
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