February 3, 2017:

It wasn't entirely her fault. She wanted a romance, I wanted someone to talk to. So we arrived at each other with conflicting expectations.

She drank and wanted me out. I liked her friend better, which she naturally resented. I was polite but depressed, which made me seem distant.

At home, walking to my door, the bottom fell out. I was so disappointed. I sat at the computer feeling more lonely than I knew how to be. Defeated, isolated, growing rapidly old.