October 18, 2021:

Heroism, not by choice, by necessity.

You're in every meeting, or the meeting will fail. Where your necessary role is to hand-hold the employees who will cause that failure, or in the more dramatic case do their jobs for them.

Unsustainable. Either replace this human mess with competent professionals, or remove yourself to some context where that's unnecessary.

October 17, 2021:

He was surprisingly aggressive, even confrontational. As I replay the convo, it's as if he came with the specific agenda to kick my ass; and he ended by emphasizing that if he takes the position we'll be having future conversations where we air our differences even more forcefully.

And so the classic conundrum of work. Acknowledge the material constraints of necessary income, where you continue in a context which makes you miserable every day. Or tell the arrogant failure-to-be to go fuck himself, and live with your books and guitars under some capacious and nearby bridge.

October 16, 2021:

The process of emanation through descending levels of reality as theorized by Plotinus should remind us in a general way of someone we know. The One results in the hypostasis of The Intellect one level down not because The One has consciousness or intention but because it's too full or abundant to contain itself. Think of a full pot of water overflowing when it boils. This is one very general and ancient form of process without a subject.