February 28, 2017:

At first he spent his schooldays alone reading and re-reading Tolkien. Immersed in the same fantasy universe as his inward, unsociable, damaged young parent.

Later he read military history, and played war games against himself, fascinated that there was a logic to it, hypnotized by strategy and tactics.

Once the hormones kicked in he played vinyl record albums in headphones, mostly The Rolling Stones: at that moment in history the absolute kings of the universe.

Eventually he found his school, and with it his identity, so that he had no more need for malingering.

He still sometimes plays The Rolling Stones, no need now for headphones, now as long and loud as he fucking wants.