August 21, 2017:
I know you're not as effusive as I am. I don't want to embarrass you by being overly demonstrative.
There's a needle to thread there. Totally undemonstrative: you might think I don't care. Overly demonstrative: it could feel like harassment.
Where depression plays an unhappy role. Why be demonstrative when she has no reason to care? So that I pull myself in two directions at once.
I think, I think, I think: it's better to err on the side of effusion. 'Cos that's me: I'm that guy. And I believe a reliable infusion of affection will do you good.