April 26, 2018:

I'm so sensitive to every nuance of impending failure.

It's been brilliant in my professional life. One of the reasons I have a professional life.

It's been psychotic as all fuck in my emotional life. One of the reasons I have such a stunted emotional life.

Any trivial setback, even the most minute little hiccup of communication or behavior: I'll interpret that as one foot out the door.

What does that tone imply? Why doesn't she want to kiss me? Why has she canceled our next two dates?

This is the end of our elaborate plan the end