August 24, 2018:

'Cos jeepers they was all over me.

The beautiful Asian babe says, "Tonight I'm gonna rape somebody, it might be you."

The sexbomb blonde secretary says, "He's the first man I've dated whose chest is bigger than mine..." thrusting her assets into the room.

The waitress and the college student each bend over their respective tables with their respective asses in the air, staring challengingly.

The server at the donut shop makes jokes about blowjobs.

I think it was the tan.

I think it was the aura of desperate danger: Come near, you'll get your heart broke so fucking bad..."

That's what turned me away. I was so god damned done with broken hearts. I knew what pain was. I was unwilling to be the cause of it.

And I felt betrayed by sex. That if it weren't for sex my world would not have shattered. My friend would still be real. The silence in my ears would be filled.

So that, at that exact moment, as one of the most beautiful women there's ever been locked eyes in the library, and I realized in the space of a heartbeat that she was mine if I said just one right word.... I turned away, let the moment pass.

Larissa: every happiness you've known in life since that instant is owed to that decision. You were sensitive, I'd have torn you to irreparable ribbons.