February 20, 2020:

Her mother the Evangelical Control Freak From Hell said once, she actually literally no shit said this, to her little grandson at table, in the middle of indoctrinating him about how women cook for men not the other way around but how grateful everyone should be for the food she'd prepared because her swollen ankles hurt and she was exhausted and she had a migraine and I don't remember what all the fuck else, she actually literally no shit said to him, "Eat up all of that, because there are people starving in Africa."

By that time I was so disgusted with her and her household of evil in Jesus' name that instead of biting my tongue I blurted out the sarcasm I'd held back for a year. I said, to the little grandson, "Hey kid, you know what mothers in Africa say to their children at dinner? No? They say, 'Don't eat that, there's people getting fat in America.'"

Well? That is the logic.

Around the table the family members were stunned by my temerity. No-one challenges Mom. Mom and God are synonyms in that household, if she does say so herself, which she does. Dad dropped his fork and his jaw: What did I just hear? The youngest daughter, who hated my fiancée for having been born, choked on her meatloaf and turned blood orange. The oldest daughter, mother of the little grandson, stared at me thoughtfully, then startled and looked away when she noticed me looking back. Her husband, father of the little grandson, shot me a secret smile of approval. His oldest daughter, at age eleven the only participant in that mise en scène with an independent personality, grinned appreciatively. Little grandson himself opened his mouth, looked around the room without blinking. He was handsome but not the brightest. Granted the level of unearned narcissistic ego reinforcement he receives in that family he'll almost undoubtedly grow up to be a gay ballet star. Gay ballet stars are of course totally awesome, but the family will disown him while teeth-gnashing over What did we do wrong?

My fiancée glowered like she wanted to murder me. That meant nothing at that particular moment 'cos she frequently glowered like she wanted to murder me. But the secret lines around her eyes suggested, I really do believe, she wanted to burst out laughing.

I'm with her on that. Years on I'm still giggling over this movie.

So is Jesus, by the way. In case you had any doubts.