February 28, 2020:

In some ways I'm the world's greatest boyfriend. I'm affectionate, demonstrative, supportive, and I mean well. I try hard to pay attention. I want my partner to be happy and I try to make sure she knows that. I really am never deliberately cutting, or cruel, or mean. I can make mistakes, sometimes seriously bad ones, but, when that happens, I'm sorry, and I say so. I wouldn't become involved with someone unless I liked her very much; and I'm friends to this day with nearly all of my exes.

In other ways I'm the worst possible boyfriend. I have weak defenses. Not in the world outside the relationship, where I can be a badass if required although of course would really rather not. But when I commit I go all in, so that when there's a disappointment or misunderstanding or my feelings are hurt, I take it too deeply. I become half crippled with confusion: My feelings are hurt, should they be? Maybe I'm being unreasonable. Maybe I should just let that slide. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. So that I was well into adulthood before I learned the simple skill of saying, "Hey my feelings are hurt."

Probably the thing that most separates mine from the majority of profiles is that I really do not care at all for "mainstream ambitions". I have no interest in mutual funds or business models or white picket fences or vacations in Cabo or Vegas or season tickets to the Giants. I do care about culture and art. I'm an artist working in computer-mediated and other forms of nontraditional narrative. My work is very highly regarded by the five or six people in the world who care about computer-mediated and other forms of nontraditional narrative. I simultaneously pursue a life-long commitment to writing and recording songs — my house is as much a recording studio as a living space — I own more guitars than silverware. I keep the roof on by fixing broken technology companies, a career which provides a large roof but does not define my life. Prior to this for two decades I was a peripatetic activist in the antiwar and social justice movements, with no roof overhead.

I'm tall, 6'4", lanky, in ok shape, "cute" — I hate that word but it's what I get. Not a gym rat, more of a distance runner body type. Salt and pepper hair, frequent smile. Super gregarious, extremely loyal. Enthusiasm junkie. Very passionate in the things I commit to. I love restaurants, movies, hiking, shopping (really), road trips, cooking at home, weekends out of town, music, reading, travel. I tend to gravitate toward younger people.

Please do reach out if you're intelligent, nice, supportive, believe in reciprocation, like to read, lean left politically; and in all honesty it would be helpful if you have better relationship skills than mine. Maybe you can teach me. Right now I really am primarily hoping to find a good friend who communicates easily and is fun to do things with, or just talk. If there turns out to be a romantic connection, that would be fantastic! But that's not my main focus, and I would not at all consider a friendship a failure if romance is not included.

— Dating site profile, August 2019