August 25, 2021:

I can no longer stand properly.

I have to push myself up from the bed, like an old person, or a weak person, with legs too feeble to function unassisted.

Years ago she told me, with a sob which surprised me, "I've become an old lady!" On the sidewalk outside an apartment in a city she didn't enjoy.

I was unsympathetic. At that moment I was thinking, What else would you imagine would happen?

Perhaps this is my opportunity for better understanding. Perhaps this is my moment of expiation. Perhaps this is all there inevitably is.