October 5, 2021:

Similarities to 1988. After her breakdown I committed totally to supporting her in any way possible. Gave her love, sex, shelter, anything I had. With nothing promised in return. A dangerous posture, and I knew it at the time. That I ended up destroyed was not really a surprise, only the depth and hellaciousness of the destruction, and the form it took.

— Journal, January 12, 2004