June 29, 2024:
"He's so evil."
Yes and "evil" means "small" and you're so petty and we've covered that already.
Lost in the noise: your burden of seething and legitimate anger. Over your dysfunctional home world; the alcoholic embezzlement of your college fund; the way that fat band manager treated you (a feeble xerox of your father, if you ask me); your inability to manipulate the milieu of people who were professionals at it; and perhaps, and perhaps most immediately for my own purposes, the harm you'd received from me. The hurt, certainly.
So that "he's so evil." acted as the transparent carrier of your own desire for some kind of payback to a world which had legitimately left you with grievances which were real, and which legitimately triggered real need for response.
None of which excuses the ineptitude of the responses you chose. Or their harmfulness to others, where "others" of course means me.